I thought I should update this or people will think I'm still in love with my ex. Yes. You've heard me. Ex. He left me back in June.

I am, however, gaining feelings for someone I don't even know. God hates me! ^^v Oddly, it seems like the guy likes me, too. Because he's the one that stares at me and smiles alot.

I now have Breaking Dawn in possesion... And I'm utterly terrified to read the damned thing. Though, I have been... Boo. And I have to work tomorrow so I can't read it for very long.

God, I hate the feeling of being alone. I shouldn't even feel like this... And, I realized that even though it annoys me to be told "I love you" constantly from your boyfriend, I actually feel loved when he says it... But, I hate it when it's not even said once... Nor when hugs aren't given out... And I'm afraid to touch him first.

I'm fucking patheitc, I know... Big whoop. I get too attached to people and this is what happens. I can't breathe without them. I feel like everything will end if I'm not with them... God, if this is what being in love does to you... I don't want to feel like this anymore... But, then again, I like being in love... I only like the good... Not the bad.

Yeah, reading through angst Puzzleshipping, I'm starting to feel bad for Yugi. Well, scratch that, I've felt bad for him for a while now. "Why?" one may ask. Well, let me tell you. Yugi, at his shortest age of, oh, god, now he's in his 20's but, let's go back to when he was 15. Lonely, picked on, blah, blah. He put the puzzle together and bam, some hunky otherworldly spirit consumes half of his mind and soul. Not only is this man good looking, but a talented duelist and gamer.

Who here other than I notice that their friends stay more with Yami than Yugi? I, in all honesty, like Yugi more than any character in that series, just because he's tender and timid and shy. So, blah. Don't get me wrong, I love Yami as well, but, I feel bad for Yugi, being trapped in his own mind (which makes him sound like he's in a coma or paralyzed) while someone else controls his life.

Now, for people that pay attention to me, everyone knows I HATE YamixAnzu(Tea). I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT! It's such a worthless pairing. It'll never happen, just like SasukexSakura will never happen. Okay, so yaoi has practically stopped me from liking GuyxGirl. And it's not yaoi's fault, it's those damn female characters that are so fucking stupid that a 1st grader is smarter than them. But, let me get to the point I was trying to make. I was reading Yu-Gi-Oh! Millennium World Vol. 1, and, ARGH! I was about to throw the book at my teacher's head. I don't think I've ever gotten so pissed off at a YamixAnzu moment. *shudder*. I don't know what got me more worked up, when Anzu was worried that Yami would forget them all and Yugi tranformed into him and Yami told Anzu and Jou that he could never forget them. Ooor, the part when Anzu gave him the necklace (I don't feel like giving the actual name) and he said he'd charish it.

I'm a damn yaoi fangirl. And, even if I wasn't, I HATE ANZU! Yeah, and as I'm writing this, I keep switching back and forth through a YGO doujin. It's in Japanese though, so, I have no understanding of what's going on. But, ah, Yugi is so innocent! Ah, but yes, I have nothing else to say and I had to get this off my chest. But, yeah. I think I only read Yu-Gi-Oh! for Yugi... And the hinting of BL.

Until... Next... Time.

I seriously cannot deal with anything right now. I'm a complete fucking emotionless mess. Why is that people come crying to me and I help them, but, I can't go crying to them without being told to be quiet and suck it up? Is it because "I'm a good friend"? Ha, doubt it. I'm the farthest thing from a "good friend".

I want to drink so badly right now, but I'm poor and I can't find the guy who said he'd buy me booze. And I can't keep cutting, my newest ones scarred a few days ago and the cuts on top of my wrist are still visable. But, yeah, I know, bad Miranda for wanting to get so drunk until she passes out. It's not my fault. I stole enough of my mother's wine when she still had it, but it didn't do shit for me. I swear, if I drank yesterday morning and the evening before that, three sips would've knocked me on my ass, I was so hungry.

Yo! I'm writing this from my friend's step-brother's computer. *sighs* I can't find my effin' cell phone and I wanna go to Borders; Eclipse is pissing me off (mainly because of Bella...). I hate this keyboard... It sucks donkey dick.... GAWR!!!!!!!! I need musiq... *fume* *fume* *fume*

Yo. I forgot to do this earlier, so, I'm doing it now. Okay, saw like, what, half of the Mind of Mencia episode on Sunday, and ZOMG, I FINALLY thought it was amusing. I didn't see the first part, so, I really can't comment on it. I'm psyched to go see him in November though. I saw Gabriel Iglesias's Hot and Fluffy. I was on the floor laughing (mainly because I was propped down there for half an hour, even before I began watching it), so, yesh, it was funny.

I don't know, but, it was calm, yet, not calm in my house while I was babysitting. I mean, I had to YELL at my cousin, Bri. *shakes head* She's more disrespectful than her brother, Coty, at times. I was afraid the cops would've been called, she was screaming her head off, all because I wouldn't let her call her mom. Yes, yes, I know that was being "cruel". But, seriously, she calls her mother every. Single. Fucking. DAY! My phone bill is higher (not because of my texting), it's because she calls her mum all the time (yes I said "mum") and Nikki (my cousin) has a long distance cell phone...

Anyways, I just started Eclipse... And, after I restart that, I think I'm going to reread the series. Maybe if I can sell the paperback version of Twlight that I bought this morning (it was there and I needed it) and buy the hardcover version, mainly because I prefer hardcover and both New Moon and Eclipse are just that. I still need to buy my friend Deathly Hallows for her as a late birthday present (I forgot to get her one, which was at the end of May v.v;;;). But, I'm not sure if I can because of TWO reasons: Reason One: I can't find any in the town I live in. Reason Two: I never see her, anyways; I mean, I could go to her boyfriend's house (I know where he lives), but, that'd be awkward... Really awkward.

I dunno why, but, I am becoming obsessed with Coheed and Cambria again. Mmm... My father is pissy as of 4 o'clock since he got home... I don't think my brother made it any easier. Grr... I have to write TWO things today for my class, post late today or, tomorrow before my next assignment. Fucking writer's block. Gawr... I have to write a 500 word story by the end of class, ha! That's easy... Sorta, just need a G-rated plot... That isn't happy (they all know me as a "dark writer"). I think I'll write a tragedy. Checking my FF.Net profile, the shortest story I wrote was 523 words (including both author notes and disclaimar), and a Peter Pan fanfic.
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Can't I just use that, editing it a bit? I mean, I can change it to G, there's nothing bad in it anyways. Except for blood, and hate, and such. Gawr. Here... READ:

The stars shone a light blue in Never-Neverland. You could see a boy, around his teen years, about 13, limping through the forest, leaving a bloody trail, holding something in his hands, hands full of blood. His name? Peter Pan.

“Tink- Tinkerbell, please, please wake up.” Peter fell to his knees, his head hung, his drummer-boy hair shadowing his eyes, tears forming. Tinkerbell lay there, lifeless and still. ‘Hook!’ Peter’s thoughts hissed, Hook did this to his best friend, his only friend. Wendy, John, and Michael, they all left him when they went back to London. Oh, how many times he went back and waited for them, how many times he waited in their room with Tink. But, they never remembered him, it was like their thoughts dissipated.

He always ended up in tears, he was supposed to be brave, but then why does he feel this way? The Lost Boys were with Wendy and them, growing up, while Peter was in Never-Neverland, staying the same age.

“Please Tink, please wake up.” Peter cried, tears streaming down his face, his face becoming red.

He set his fairy friend down in front of him, still on his knees, he placed his hands in front of him, his body hovering over Tinkerbell’s. His golden brown hair hung low.

Blood dripped from his face, face red hot with tears. “Why? Wh-h-h-y?” He screamed, more tears flowing from his hazel eyes. Peter sat up onto his knees, he brought his hands together and clapped his hands three times. Tink still lay there lifelessly, “I do believe in fairies, I do I do I do.” He whispered as he picked up his little friend and held her close to his face. It was no good, did Tink die?

Ah man, even the thought of Tink being dead made Peter cringe. Peter put his pinkie-finger on Tink’s chest, no pulse. Even if she was a fairy, she still had a heart pulse, but it wasn’t there now. Blood and tears dripped down his face and fell off his chin, “Please Tink, please. Don’t stay dead, please, you’re my only friend I have left. Wendy left me.” Wendy. Oh, how he hated her now, but, he still left a place in his heart open up, her love still there. The little fairy didn’t move and inch.

Peter dug a small hole and placed Tink gently inside, he pushed the dirt back over the hole, crying through this whole process. “I love you Tink.” Peter whispered as he pushed the remaining dirt over Tink’s grave.

He stood up and tried to fly, but his thoughts too disturbed by Tinkerbell’s death. “Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts.” He told himself. Peter thought of all those times with Tinkerbell he had. That got him going, he flew off into the sky…


Horrible, no? Well, I wrote it in the 6th grade, so, cut me some slack. I make his sound foreign, though, (which he kind of his, he's British of course, but, the Brits have better grammar than most Americans) with my horrible grammar. ^o^;;; >.>

*sighs* I think... I'll still a tragedy. 1st person, 500 words, drabblish, useless, and crap-filled. Gawr. *sighs*

I talked... To Haley today, sort of,I texted her about Daniel's penis and we ended up talking about how useless the pairings in H.P were (both her and I are hardcore yaoi fans, 'm not sure 'bout her levels anymore... Her boyfriend doesn't like it).

UGH! I finally decided who's subs I like better out of Subway and Jimmy John's. SUBWAY! I had a J.J's sub and after three bites, ended up dumping all the add ons off and just eating the bread. Which, was revolting, by the way. I like Subways bread, perferablely Italian. I think this had been my longest post. YAY!

Ugh! School for me starts in, erm, 28 days, I think. *shudder* I dun wanna start High SCHOOL! Yup, I finally get to be at the BOTTOM again. GRRRRSH! I think Crystal (Otaku) and Tabi (Skater) and Haila (Violent- Weirdo) will be going to that school. I have to get school supplies, I already have clothes (two pairs of jeans, two pairs of Tripp pants, a Hello Kitty shirt, a Chococat shirt, a long-sleeved ICP shirt, a Pantera tee, and a Black Label Societ hoody). I have alot of clothes still left over from last year.

I wonder how badly dissed I'll be for hating the Portage Warriors (our school team, really, they suck at football and are decent at wrestling, baseball, and basketball. And football is the main thing here).I mean, my brother's football teams hadn't lost a game ALL season, and just because they're hella younger than the football players in the HS, I'd put my money on them.

Well, I'm done... For now. BYE!

Okay, here's the low down. I am EXTREMELY obsessed with the Jiraiya/Naruto pairing. Shota? Yes. Disgusting? In most eyes, yes. Hot? FUCK. YES! Really, I want doujinshi and fanfiction with the xXx rating. So, if ANYONE has any... TELL ME!!!!!

1. S-S-S-Someone added me to their friends list on here. It's a making in history!! It's like that time I ACTUALLY ate an entire meal at lunch when I was still a shitty elementary student (really, my friends (the geeky ones) were estatic)!!! *cough cough*
   
   That's besides the point. Did anyone manage to catch Sunday's episode of Mind of Mencia, I missed it, so, unless I watch some clips, their won't be any comments on it. I'm probably going to the show he has in Madison, Wi, maybe if I beg enough.
   
   The space bar on my computer is a royal piece of shit. Normally, I'll you'd have to do is tap it, but, something happened and now, you have to literally beat the fucker down. *sighs* I keep slowing my computer down with my compulsive downloading. DAMN IT! I want fucking SHOTA! Yes, I'm that disgusting, I... Just happen to find it entertaining; and it shows, my favorite graphic yaoi just happen to be Boku no Pico and Pico to Chico. As for manga... Erm, I dunno... I can't remember all the titles that I've read, some of them had to do with a Little Red Riding Hood parody; rabbit meets wolf who's wants to eat the poor thing, but, ends up getting horny when the damned thing's eyes tear. Yup, I love it!
   
   I hate children... I only want to babysit TODDLERS after I'm done with my cousins; toddlers are cuter and funner to be around (mainly because once they know you, they attach easily and I find it adorable).
   
   Oh! Back to the M.O.M thing. I posted a comment on Carlos Mencia's MySpace because, well, I thought he'd LIKE to hear something besides "Oh my god, Carlos! You're the shit and funny as hell. DEE DEE DEE!!!" Okay, listen, yes, I agree that he's funny, at times, I was on the floor clutching my stomach because the laughter that was erupting from my vocal cords were too much to bare. But, he's not the shit (Gabriel Inglesias is). And, saying "DEE DEE DEE" after every comment you leave, is basically calling him a, well, "dee dee dee". But, getting back to what I was saying, I left a critical comment on his profile, and the prick DENIED IT! Shit... Just because I called him "dry" and that it saddens me because I can't find it humorous anymore doesn't mean he should deny it. I've been watching his show since it first came on, and these fuckers think they know every thing about him? People at my school would yell at me for correcting them whenever they said his infamous catch phrase. Like they know how the fuck it's pronounced. They've only seen one episode, I've seen them all (except two recent ones).
   
   Well, I leave you all now. God, my fingers hurt like a bitch for typing this all up, especially my thumb (my space bar finger).

Gasp... I'm taking a college writing course online... And, all I have to say is... Eh? We had our first writing assignment... And, well, we had to describe a candle... It's weird... I say it sucks... And... The people who commented on it like it...

Yo! It's been a while since I last posted an entry that wasn't short. Gah. But, yes, I got the 7th Harry Potter book, and, all I can say is that I heart it! I'm not that far yet, I'm trying to savor it, and, plus, both my father and I are reading it at the same time (I'm farther v.v;). Ah, yes, I waited until after midnight for it, and when I got to the front of the line, I was almost denied ownership! DAMN THEM!!!!

But, anyways, who saw Mind of Mencia last night? Hm... Punji came back, I'm glad, but, I'm sorta of happy I missed last week's episode because I fucking HATE Judge Carlos... Grr... It's stupid, really... *sigh*. Anyways, I don't think the person who won the "So You Think You Can Rant" contest was that good, then again, none of them were (I watched all the entries on Comedy Central). I think I'm going to smack Carlos for losing touch with the real comedy he used to have... Grr, though, he'd probably say something about the fact that I watch it when I don't find it funny anymore as I used to. And, it's not because I'm aging and maturing faster, it's because he's becoming too DRY! Really, stop doing Judge Carlos every 3 episodes, it's getting O.L.D!!!! And, sadly, Punji is my favorite character skit, but, this one wasn't as funny as the last....

I know I shouldn't be complaining... I don't write the scripts... But, gr, I'm going to meet you Carlos Mencia, and when I do... You better have a pen and paper. Oh, but don't get me wrong, I'm a huge ass fan, shit, I even have you on my MySpace... Or something. You should want to hear from your fans... 'Specially the ones that are trying to help you become less... Dry. Ugh, I talked enough... JAA!